Divorce is a major life challenge for both partners, but men generally have a harder time dealing with these changes than women do. Two thirds of all divorces are initiated by wives. That means that two thirds of husbands do not want divorce. As a result, more of them commit suicide, or become sick or depressed. Many of them develop serious drug or alcohol problems and many become involved sexually with a casual acquaintance, causing further problems. If you are a man who is currently going through the process of divorce, a divorce support group can offer a helpful solution. Better yet, why not benefit from a men’s support group as soon as you fear that divorce is becoming a possibility or likelihood?
Jim Ramsey, the director of Aletheia Marriage Counseling has been developing special opportunities for men to relate to him and other men in a very inexpensive weekly or monthly internet forum to discuss typical marital problems and how men can significantly reduce the likelihood of divorce without feeling like they have to be a “Wus”. Jim simply educates husbands on why ⅔ of marriages are initiated by wives and what are the primary needs of wives that husbands can meet and be rewarded by a responsive wife and feel more masculine.
An online divorce support group allows men who are going through divorce to get help from a professional therapist in a group setting from the comfort and privacy of home. The difference between a traditional divorce group for men and the men’s groups run by Jim Ramsey is that instead of focusing on the myriad of ongoing problems caused by divorce, the husband groups focus on how to be more aware of what is going wrong in their marriages and how to become more skillful at correcting or averting these problems.
An online divorce support group is run by one or more experienced facilitators, typically not licensed therapists. Much like sponsors for alcoholics, most of them have survived divorce and want to help others going through this experience. They focus on divorce related adjustments and hardships. These divorce support groups typically have a much longer lifespan than husband support groups. The emotional effects of divorce are life changing and pervasive. Most importantly, most married men consider their primary purpose and identity is caring for and providing for their wife and children. That’s why post divorce statistics for husbands are so shockingly negative. Many divorced men literally feel they have lost their purpose for living. Or at the very least, many feel they have lost their children, or their children’s love and respect.
Members of the divorce support group learn from both facilitators and one another about how to navigate the emotional and other upheavals of a marriage’s end. Men’s divorce support groups online offer a way to build your own support system with other men who are experiencing the same challenges. Once again, the husband group is working on prevention, rather than cure. Prevention is much easier and faster, with none of the long term trauma and massive changes and adjustments required by divorce.
Men who do not wish to or aren’t able to attend a group physically can benefit from online divorce support groups. In choosing this option, you may meet men going through a divorce themselves, who are thinking about divorce, or who may have experienced divorce in the past.
It’s because of these varied perspectives that divorce and marriage support groups online offer the following and so many other benefits.
Participants of men’s divorce support groups online report experiencing several benefits.
Men's online support groups offer participants the same level of confidentiality they would receive by traveling to a therapist’s office. These groups also offer safety and security in the form of providing open communication; all participants can know they can share their thoughts and feelings freely without judgment or fear of persecution.
Men who attend these support groups online are participating in a process that allows them to be heard, as well as offer a listening ear for other men who are sharing their struggles. This environment can also be the ideal sounding board when you need to make important decisions regarding children, finances, or the buying or selling of a home or in a marriage, the husband group, with a licensed marriage therapist provides a sounding board and an educator for all kinds of the same or similar decisions within the marriage. In fact, how all decisions are made in a marriage can and often do present marital challenges. Often each spouse has a different perspective and respecting differing communication styles is very important. Because men from so many age groups and varied experiences attend support groups, you can receive valuable insights to help you make informed decisions about your next steps.
The process of divorce goes beyond the divorce itself; many men experience many emotions and difficult situations leading up to, during, and well after a divorce has taken place.
Attending men’s support groups online early in the process helps you make critical adjustments that prevent divorce or allows you to receive encouragement through the divorce and when you settle into a new life or meet your next partner.
Many men have a difficult time navigating divorce because they do not have a support system in place. Typically, the majority of social connections a man had prior to marriage do not continue through his marriage. This can mean that his spouse becomes the primary support person.
When divorce occurs and this person is no longer there, a man is usually left feeling adrift and unsure where to turn. Men’s support groups online allow men who are going through divorce to connect with others who understand what they’re going through and help them to navigate challenges in healthy and proactive ways.
Men who are going through divorce must continue working and being parents as they try to take care of their health, attend court sessions, and complete other necessary tasks. This can leave little time for physical therapist visits. A large number of online men’s support groups often occur outside regular therapist hours, which gives men the opportunity to receive the help they need when they are able to attend.
Many couples who are divorced want to be able to work together in a healthy way that benefits their children and doesn’t make them feel like they have to choose one parent over the other. However, they may not know how to accomplish this, which can mean continued communication issues.
For over 40 years, Aletheia Marriage Counseling has been providing women and men's marriage support groups for individuals and couples. These groups help people explore and navigate relationship issues with research-based therapy using The Gottman Method.
The Gottman Method helps improve your communication skills, and also helps to facilitate understanding and empathy with your ex-spouse.
Only therapists that have been certified in The Gottman Method are permitted to administer this therapy. As Montana’s only Gottman-certified therapist, I provide online divorce support groups for men just like you, who want to learn how to fix persistent problems instead of always arguing about the same things, and who want to move forward and heal.
That’s not the only reason to choose Aletheia. In addition to my Gottman Method certification, I also bring to the table over 50 years of experience as a husband and all of the things marriage has taught me.
Imagine no longer having to worry that events with in-laws and mutual friends will be awkward, and, instead, getting along with and even enjoying the time you spend with your ex-spouse.
Joining my divorce support group can help you to make new connections, express your thoughts and feelings in a safe space, and much more.
My support group for divorced men helps participants gain important insights they can apply to their unique situations, and see the events that led to their divorce in an entirely new way. Are you ready to close this chapter of your life, and progress toward opening the next? If so, my men’s divorce support groups online may be for you. Feel free to send me a message at any time, and I will be happy to reply. If you’d rather speak to me in person, give me a call at (406) 251-7073.