Due to the high rate of divorce in America, there are many people who want to receive divorce counseling. They want to learn how to get along with each other better so that they can function in the various roles that they have to continue to function within, while divorced. For example, they want to be able to handle matters pertaining to the children in an effective way that doesn’t damage the children or their attitude toward either one of them. Despite the fact that they are divorced, they want to minimize any negative effects of their marital dissolution on their children or their respective families and friends.
Even though they are divorced, they want to be able to do social things with the people that they related to when they were married such as weddings, holidays etc. They want to be able to do these kinds of relational activities and be comfortable in the process.
In light of the fact that we use the Gottman Institute research to discover why marriages succeed or fail, we have learned that this research is not only relevant to married couples but it is relevant to all relationships. Using the skills that have been revealed to this research helps us have positive, successful relationships with all of the people in our lives, not just with our spouses. It helps us have better relationships with our children, our in-laws, and those we work or play with.
In light of this fact, doing divorce counseling can have extremely positive benefits to both of you as you continue to deal with each other, your children and grandchildren, and each other’s families and mutual friends for the rest of your life.
It may be interesting to note that in some cases, even though your intention was not to look at each other through different eyes and begin to feel attracted and hopeful again, this can happen with people that are divorced and have not become committed to other people or remarried. By learning the skills to enable you to get along well in a divorced state, you may find that the skills could make it possible for you to reestablish the broken relationship on a healthy footing that allows you to transform your relationship and experience a very positive paradigm shift in the direction of your relationship.
As you know, it’s not uncommon for people who have experienced divorce to remarry and that fact is even more likely when each of the divorced individuals receive relationship skills training and can look at the events that ultimately led up to their divorce from a completely different perspective.
If this should be the case with the two of you, the logical step would be to shift from divorce counseling to marriage counseling as soon as you feel ready to do so. When you find yourself thinking, “ I wish we had known about The Gottman Research and had received Research Based Marriage Counseling and done so instead of divorce,” it’s nice to know that you still can!
Contact me today to see how I can help.